San Francisco - suite 3 (at last : Koja found)

The letter read:

“My blackhaired love, my blue eyed pigeon, dear David.

I have to write you this letter after my call of yesterday evening. I have to write in English, please excuse if my language is a bit clumsy, But I have to write you, our conversation yesterday was to short. I need you! Your trumpet sounds still in my ears as at  this warm evening at Montreux.

Our running together up the hill to the woods. And then, standing besides, feeling each other through the clothes. And our hands sliding up and down of our bodies, fumbling at the knobs. And suddenly your hand lying on my fly, my prick sensing the warmth of you, I as was longing for hours. It had grown nicely hard. And then I feel the warm moist grass under me lying besides you, feeling the soft skin of your body under my hands. I feel your curbed nose, your godlike soft lips, your silken hair. It was so nice to caress your body, to take your dick into my mouth and lick it with my tongue. And to lick your prick  with my tongue. And to feel you inside of me. It was the first time for me after twenty years of an normal hetereosexual life. But it was the experience of my life. I told my wife that I wanted to quit. My son thinks I am mad.  He is making fun of me. I had to tell you at once of my decision, phoned you just in a public booth on my way to work. Please don't deceive me, I so love you. I could never live without you.  I have found a small flat for the two of us, just at the rim of a small wood, with a wonderful view on the lake. There is a balcony and we will eat there breakfast and dinner with the view as the summer is just beginning. I will cook you the best I can. You like so much our saucisse aux choux avec lentilles with a fine pinot noir. We can lodge there from at once. We will go together to buy the furniture. I love you and I am so happy you love me. I cannot wait for you to come and be with me. I will wait for you at the airport. Please tell me when your plane arrives. Your loving bride. Thierry.“

Later on Ramon tells the following

Now I knew the reason David quitted me so quickly. Why can't he remain with me. I so much long for him. But always he runs away as soon as I have found him. Again I think about the letter. It is so nicely written. Perhaps I should revolve to writing love letters and my birdy would come back to me. David has won over me again, seducing a loving family father into debauchery and sexual aberration. Such a nice blow to our society. The Gandarian in me rejoices at the thought of the blow we have again administered to the moral pillars of our perfect society. What a nice theme it would be for tea at the Schmiedlins of Rüschlikon! And again I consider. It's such a deep love these two have. And this guy has given up his established family life, the respect he got in our double-bottomed society for his life as a heterosexual purveyor of children as slaves for our economy giving all up for the love of David, who never agreed to be a wheel of the machinery. I remember my first encounter when I was 14 with David. It also formed my latter life. David gave me the energy and the reason to stand up against the plans of my father. He is a true revolutionary and I only a small fry nibbling at the fundaments. I am nearly jealous of this chap he now goes with. I look at the photograph. But then I think again. Never  could I love somebody of his age. He is too old. I like young ones who bring back  my youth which was stolen from mother and father. When each moment was spring in my life. Or so I would like to remember it. I need young flesh, hope, energy. This Thierry wears the clothes of an employee at his leisure time. Manchester trousers, a shirt with flower painted on it. Perhaps he is even an accountant working at forming a secret army as this other Swiss guy did. Somebody sitting in an office. No, definitely not my sort of fry.

"Who is this nice man on the photo? I don't know him.  Your new friend?" Koja is looking over my shoulders. I am startlet. Nice guy? Such a grandy? When he has me as his friend. I take his hand, kiss him on the back of it. Look up to him standing high behind me. He is so nice in my new Armani vest, the jeans the tee-shirt to short. Between Jeans and shirt there is some space showing his skin around his navel free. "Well, he looks as nice as you do." And, when I pull a face, he laughs. "Don't do as if you were twenty. Even colouring your hair does not make you young again." I must have looked quite disappointed. Because he hastens to add. "I love you, dispite your age. I don't look on the age." I'm not happier. I imagined always people liked me so much because I didn't look my age. And now Koja, without wanting to do it, destroys my self image. He is visibly mal à l'aise. I remember how I found him again. 

He was hiding in the ground floor of the parking house, clothes all torn up, hair unkempt, the red in his eyes showing. We had just come back from our outing at the disco on the rocks overlooking the sea. Alec had gone together with Raúl to sleep  into the former room of David. Leaving me alone in my room. After the disco I was all fire. I tossed myself from left to right in the bed at least an hour. Finally I gave up every hope of sleep.  Got up to work at my book. It was too early for breakfast, I wanted to smoke my pipe to get a clear mind. Everywhere I looked for my favourite Chrowsky pipe. Then I realized I must have left the pipe in the car. I went down to the garage. As always I was not very cautious, went directly without looking neither to left nor right to my Seville (hired from Avis). Before reaching the doorknob I stopped suddenly. I had heard somebody stir. I looked around me. Nothing. Then I looked into the car. Nothing, as the car was closed and the roof closed too. I looked under the car and saw a shadow.  Perhaps I had been to careless. I never thought of robbers hiding who could kill to avoid being found out. Without considering the danger, I knelt down, looked under my car. There was something like a bundle under my car. "A guy sleeping, huddled together." I thought. I touched his leg, trying to awake him. He stirred and slid nervously to the other side of the car and got up. Seeing a man, he was frightened, wanted to run away. I shouted: "Don't run away, I won't do anything to you." Upon hearing me, he stopped suddenly, looked back. Now I saw his face in the light, but he could only see my silhouette against the light. It was Koja. "Koja." I shouted. "Come to me. It's so long I have been waiting for you." "Who are you, I hear your voice but don't see you." "I'm Ramon." He froze, just stood there. I heard steps coming into the Garage. He  got nervous. I hissed: "Come into the car." I opened the door, sat into the car. Opened the other door and pulled him into the car besides me. The steps now passed the car but nobody could see into it, as the closed windows were tinted. We looked at each other. Koja throbbed and panted, behaving like a hunted deer. He looked worse than yesterday night. Had still a haggard face, but his trousers were torn and out of order as if he had had to run for life and had fallen several times. He clung to me. "Please hide me, the cops are looking for me. We tried to break into a jewellery, but the bell rang and we had to fly by car. But they made an accident, the car broke down and we had to continue on our own. Now we are scattered in all directions. I run all the way to this hotel, because I found this notice in my pocket." And he shows me the ticket I slipped into his trousers' pocket yesterday at the disco. "Have you been there. I  did not see you." I say: "I thought so, you seemed completely absorbed in Erik." He is startled. "You were at the disco and didn't greet me?" "I greeted you, even barred your way, but you had eyes for this Erik only. I suppose you were quite high. " He sighs. As always pities himself. "I am completely at the mercy of these people, they furnish me the doping material against credit." I am not impressed, know him, laugh. "But Erik is nice looking and has a well-formed ass." He looks startled. "You know him?" "My companions, David and Raúl amused themselves and left me out. There was this nice chap at the bar and I had a go at him." He looks startled. "It must have been when he sent me away to look for the others. You really are a quick one. But I rather think you are making fun of me." He seems really upset and I regret  my remark. He seems to be near to the tears. I have to be nicer with him. He seems to be at the very edge. I take his head in my hands and say. "Don't you think that your running away from Simon must have been a blow to me. And since then I have been looking for you. I would have preferred sitting on the sun deck of my "Cithère" and bathing in the sun. Instead here I am in this barbaric country where they treat us like some sort of chum. Running from left to right looking for you. Because I thought you must be here. You always liked the west coast so much. I don't see what's interesting in here. And when I at last see you at the bus station, I get knocked over and robbed by some chums or pimps of you." It gets out of my grip. I get quite heated up, too much, I think. He is trembling. Wants to open the door and go out. "If you make me such reproaches, there is no sense for me to remain. I have done so many bad things. It was probably wrong of me to think you would take me back.” And suddenly he bursts out crying. Opens the door to get out. I hold him with one arm around his waist, with the other one I close the door again. It’s no sense offering a spectacle to some passer-by. I kiss him licking his tears. He is so nice. "I'm sorry, I was not fair. But you know, sometimes my tongue is too quick. And you are not normally able to take stress. Please do have some patience with me." And I have a nervous laughing fit, nearly choking. Then I regain control, continue: "I do not want to make you reproaches for what's done. But, really, Koja, do you think I would have gone all this way looking for you, if you would mean nothing to me." "But I knocked Simon to the floor, I stole money. You said I knocked you down at the station, also I do not remember anything from this night. Don't you hate me?" I hold his head a bit away from me, look into his eyes. "Koja, I love you. And Simon loves you, too. I know it, he phoned me on this night, asking me to look for you. And now I have you back. I have to try to keep you from the clutch of the police. And from your presumed friends. And even, as I now see, from yourself. I will help you again because you are worth it. But I ask of you that you stop taking drugs and that in future you don’t loose your nerves so quickly. Don't run away from your problems. We are here to help you handling your life. Please use our counsels." Then I give him a great kiss, and he replies with another kiss, murmurs "I love you, too." Or at least I think that's what he says. I let his head loose, keep him away from me, look him again in his green eyes and continue: "What  is gone is gone and we have not to discuss it. Especially now, as we need to act swiftly. I propose we take the direct lift to my room and you shower and change in my room. Especially wash the colour off your hairs and get a nice new haircut. The hairdresser is open all night in this push hotel. Today we’ll leave here and travel to a private flat in LA."  He moved slightly away from me, looked away. I was embarrassed. Perhaps I offended him, I should not treat him so deprecatorily. I push him again away from me, say, looking straight ahead: “Excuse me. I simply love you. I would be so unhappy if one day you would be harmed by these people. Please do also think of my problems.” And now I suddenly sobbed. I could no longer keep my sentiments back. He looked away, was embarrassed, did not know how to react. But then suddenly he embraced me with both arms, cuddled up to me, over the gear change in the car, and kissed me. I felt the tears on his cheeks.  What could I do more. I was already too much involved. Then I opened the windows, looked outside of the car. Nobody was around in the garage, and quickly we got out of the car, into the lift, up to my room. Where he could shower, wash out the red taint he had in his hair. Put on some clothes of me, because they astonishingly fit him. He has recovered  in this short time. And he is my Koja, my old Koja again. He also got a new hair-cut from the hairdresser at the hotel, doesn't look any longer like a dragon with a red ridge and I like him much more like this. I was waiting at the hairdresser. As it was finished, he stood before me, I got up, took him by both hands, looked at him fixedly, his lean, tall figure, his strubbled, blond hair, strubbled in the modern fashion. and said: "Jetzt bist Du wieder wunderbar, mein Koja, der schönste der Welt. Komm hinauf bitte, Sonja erwartet Dich." He looks bewildered at me, but understands. The hairdresser laughs outright. He speaks German, he knows me. Gandarian and having a Sonja with him! Fi this people, they always think the worst of us. But now it's such a happy day, the day I found Koja again, and in good health, I can't be angry. I pay him Koja's haircut and a generous tip and say goodbye. In the lift there are other people. I must restrain. But as soon as we are in the room, Alec and Raúl away again in the other room "watching television", I said, but now in English, because I prefer this language and nobody is eardropping: "I love you Koja" and press him to me, kissing him on the mouth. I feel his prick through all clothes and and can't help it, I have to kneel down and take his beloved dick in my mouth, lick it, suck it. But he pushes me to the bed, winks me to sit on it. "We can't do it" he says "not anymore." "Why?" "I got a fit, after this affair at the bus station, it was terrible. I lay on the street and they brought me to the health center." It dawns upon me, why could I forget it?" "You got a fit because you are HIV positive," "I ask." But, Koja, don't panick." "I had terrible belly-ache, had to lay on the street. Everybody run away. The police took me to the hospital because I was so bad. I was unconscuos, was so bad they had to change the blood. But as soon I could walk I run away, I did not want to remain at this place." I embrace him, pull him to him, pull over on the bed holding him fast until we lay together on the bed. Feverishly I tear away his clothes, quit mine and we feel each other's skin. I say, murmuring into his eyes. "It's as it was in Moscow. I never changed my mind. I coudn't live when you are dead. We can do a lot against this and now they have found a drug to stop it. You just have to gain control of your life. Do it, Koja, for the sake of me and of Simon." And I caress his skin, and we do it over and over, and of course without this plastic because we are humans and not machines. I know you read it enough till now. And when we are over he has tears in his eyes. I don't want him to say anything. I take out my handy to inform Simon that Koja is found again because he is so much in worry.

Then I say: "As soon as this thing here is over, we will have to go to my friend at the hospital of Oslo. Get a check up. And from now on we keep a quiet life. On my Cithère you will recover and you will have to think whether you want to go back to Harvard. You were so brilliant, it would be a pity to lose on it. But I understand. It will be difficult for you there." He looks at me, upset: "You want to get me out of the way again. Continue it with Alec, or Raúl." I can't stand it, the old jalousy song again. I just look at him, say nothing. He should know better. He is too young for me, it cannot last. In fact I long for David Morgan but he always runs away from me. "It's time you came down to earth. I love you and you love me. But you also love Kathy and she regrets what she did to you. Think about it and maybe she will come to the ship so you could find yourselves again.


I hope the police will no longer recognize him. And just as if to prove it, the highway police comes in the restaurant and cheerfully greets us all. Not asking for our papers. We are like a family, the father with his sons. Well clad. Don’t fall out. They cross us, take up seats at a table far away in the corner and get some morning wake up coffee. I hear them laughing at some dirty joke one of them is telling. Koja sits besides me. I lean over to him. give him a kiss and murmur in his ears: "You see darling, you have nothing more to fear. You are with us again." The policeman looks over and smiles.


Then I say, to answer his question: "No it's David's new friend. He left abruptly and flew to Geneva. He loves this chap more than everybody else."  Just then  Raúl and Alec.come into the room. They come over. They heard the last sentence. I look at Raúl. Does he weep? I get up, take his head in my hands. “Don't weep, love. David will come back." I say. He says nothing, only shakes with his head. "No I don’t love him any longer."  I want to answer something, in my usual unserious art. Something like: Taking pleasure in burning yourself. Or You'll come to heaven. But I stop short. Alec looks reprovingly at me. Always he is a spoilsport. He does not approve if I want to have a joke. I feel as I have to apologize. But when I want to tell him some nice lie, he says "Hush don't say things you don't believe in yourself. I think you are not so bad as you make everybody think. But it would be nice if you could stop playing your Gandarian clown and show yourself like you really are." I am perplexed. Alec, of all, this boy who so much looks like my imagination of Adonis, Alec would like to make a saint of me. I don't want to become a saint. I will continue to be the ghost who haunts our fine society and I want to remain it. One time they will burn me as a witch but till then I will continue to live for the right aims, or the one I think are the right ones. James Bond is for somebody else, not for me, because I see too much behind the curtains. But I am not going to defend my way of living. I just simply laugh my Gandarian laugh.

Then from the wireless station at the table of the policemen comes a hissing sound. Some unintelligible sounds comes out of the loud speaker of their set. They hurriedly drink their coffee, get up and rush out of the coffee shop without even taking a look at us.


We arrive at the house in Bel Air for lunch. I have bought some pizzas on the way for a lunch. We eat it and in the afternoon the boys use the swimming pool. But I retreat to the office to work on my book. And to go through the mail which has accumulated during my absence. But I can't concentrate. The thought of this new love of David, this Thierry of which I don't know the family name, haunts me. I have been cuckooed by him. I am furious. Never in my life have I lost and now I am the loser. I take out the fax, read it again. Such absolute balderdash! I look at his photo. He is not nicer than I am. On the contrary. I look like a gypsy and that makes me interesting. I have jade green almost greyblue eyes and pitchblack, curled hair down to my shoulders and look like a intellectual. No grey hair, I taint them to get everything out of it. He is such a dull looking chap, grizzled dark-brown hair,  brown eyes. Not blond and blue eyed, like my David, or chestnut hair and brown eyes like Raúl, or sandy hair and green eyes like Koja, not light brown and hazel brown eyes like José, just hazelnut brown eyes and dark brown hair. If he would be a sporting guy with a muscular breast, impressive biceps, to have supplanted me, I would be less angry. But I have the fax address of this chap, I will write him to tell him what I think of his behavior. I sit at the computer, write

“Dear Thierry ?

I don't know your family name, only your Christian name and your address. But I want to write you to let you know that I am much disappointed about your behavior. Just stealing me my years old friend David. I would have thought that you would be less selfish…”

I stop. Scrap everything, throw it away. It is not good. Why, he would even think I would envy him for the love of this scoundrel David. No. Not in my worst dreams. I write again:

“Dear Thierry

I received the fax that you sent to David, because this vagabond has already left to run to you. You will have to give it to him." Then I put some salt into the soup, give him some pleasure in life: "I suppose that he is still with you, because you know, David likes the changes. He quite quickly gets fed up with the friends he angles for himself. But of course, with you it's much different." Then I have pity with him, I write: "Anyway I would be pleased to know you, only to keep records of David’s friends. Do you already have an arrangement for the holidays. I have a cruising ship who is harboring beginning of May in the bay of Panama. All friends of my friends are my friends and are my guests. Even your little son and your wife could come" I write this to give him a little sting. Of course they will not come. "Please tell me what you think of my invitation. Regards Ramon Gandarian."

I send the message directly with Stawrinsky's modem. And I am so tired that I fall into slumber and sleep, and have a dream. Which must be important because I remember it afterwards. I am a painter in my atelier in Paris. I paint a canvass of the young Bacchus. A boy completely naked poses for me. Then the butler comes into the room, announcing the arrival of young Marc Chapin, my brother’s older son. My brother is a well to do doctor, with lots of rich patients, he has succeeded in life. I am an artist meaning a scandalous life. But my brother still esteems me, I am a famous painter, following a school which is considered as scandalous and therefore very interesting. He leads a very bourgeois life, his wives, two boys. But he has his vices, frequents the demi-monde. Last week he had a party at his maitress’ place and invited me to it because I can be shown around. And I go because he has many rich friends also leading a life beside their family life. It is interesting to get to know these rich bankers when they are not in their rigid bourgeois life. And besides, I could sell many a canvas which they bought behind the back of their respectable wives. The party gets quite drunk, and behave accordingly and I find it amusing. And then my brother takes me aside and tells me the problems he has with his son. “Think, he loves men. I don’t know how to get him off this. It’s scandalous!” Why did he tell me this? To me, the devil, because we, everybody, know that I love men and boys and have no behavior! And I behaved like I had too. I let the butler bring young P a card inviting him to visit me in my atelier. He is now interesting for me. And as I thought, he comes. I know from my frequententation with the family that he is much interested in art, and thought he would come. Of course its quite a long time when I saw him last, I am not a well received person in this bourgeois surroundings and saw him last at the communion where family members should be invited. I remember him as a very well looking young guy and a agreeable shudder comes over me at the idea that I could seduce the pride of my brothers very son. My, I am such an abject person! Therefore I took Denis in my atelier, because he is my most faithful friend, clever and so nice and not only my best model but also my lover. He is there, stark naked on the podest, as I enter my atelier preceeding Marc who follows on my heels and Denis can not step down from his podest. My faithful butler who knows me leaves me at once. Marc is a very well ranged son of good family. On seeing Denis he blushes and wants to flee. But I turn around towards him, both arms stretched out, greeting him, embracing him as only a painter without manners can do it. He is such a nice chap. I long to see him on my bed in Adams costume. I long to feel his wonderful prick in my ass. To lick his ass. Denis is wonderful, but I need changes, can never be satisfied. I am the most terribly shock for the good bourgeois and my poor Jean gave his son to me. “Come my nephew, I say, meet Denis, he has the most stiff prick of earth and the nicest ass cheeks." Denis is seemingly not in his element.  In a frenzy he takes his pants and puts them on. Throws a bitter look to me. But I soothe him, take him round the waist, kiss him. Marc is shocked but I feel, he cannot resist, the shocking nakedness of this young man attracts him. he remains and wants to be seduced. But I have to be circumspect. Not too bold hence I panic him away. I make it very circumspect in small leaps.  I invite him to come often. And he is so interested in painting. I paint rather academic themes which are well received by the bourgeois cutomers and at the saloon. But I experiment with the techniques of the new school. And Marc is much interested. He has big brown eyes and brown hair and looks very tender. He is lovely. But also Dennis loves him, I see it from his regard. Marc often comes on visits and is so interested. I get him to frequent me with my friends, in my favorite locals and always together with Denis. And I feel, he is inclined. Untill finally, I can seduce him. After a wet nice evening at the atelier of collegue, I take him to the atelier, showing him a newly painted canvass. I no longer paint Bacchuses, but the real thing. The love boys as they are staying each evening in the streets, waiting for customers, well behaving stiff bourgeois. He is shocked but can no longer resist the advances of my Denis. And the wonderful evening I have, Denis on my left, Marc on my right. Especially the wonderful feeling to have brought a searching soul into the right waters. And nobody can do something against me. I am only an artist but I know all most important politicians and capitalists in their most intim moments and they don’t want a scandal. And now I know at last who my Koja reincarnates, it is Marc, who was a wonderful writer and David is Denis.   

I wake up, the head full of the role Raúl, David and Alec played in former lives. I feel a strong urge to be with Alec. I go out to the swimming pool. They are lying on the towels, taking the sun. Koja and Raúl embracing each other. Alec lies a bit separated under the shadows of a tree. He does not like to expose himself too much to the scorching sun. I go into the cool water, swim ten times the length of the basin, as I do everyday if I have the possibility, to keep me sportive enough. Then, quite refreshed, I go to him. He does not wake up. I lie besides my fair skinned, blond haired angel, Alec. Who behaves sometimes like the devil. But I understand his behavior. I have to make up for my faults as his father king Archempelagos of the Hyksos.  I have to keep to my feeling towards him and not let him down again. I caress his tender skin, put my hand on the hill that emerges from his bathing suit. Rub it, then feel under the cloth with my hands, grip his dick and rub over his acorn. He awakens with a jump. My mouth was besides his ear, I murmur something into it, without much thinking I suppose "I love you." He looks piercingly at me. "You are not angry with me, because I treated you as a Gandarian clown?" I look puzzled, I forgot everything about the clowns. "What's it?" I ask. He laughs with his clear bell like laughter and we coil together, feeling each other. I kiss his neck, his cheeks and press my lips upon his lips. While our legs rub each other, our tongues embrace each other and we get marvelously excited. I turn over to my belly, he gets on me,  enters me, comes in me while I splash my sperm responding to his tender caresses. I sit up. "Come" I say. "Let's cook something. I have a mighty appetite." I have bought a fine salm which I will make with some rice and a fine bottle of Chardonney. 

We go into the kitchen, cook and wake the other.

We eat on the terrace with the view around the whole town and over the sea. But there is a faint mist over the town.

Afterwards I go downtown. I want to make a visit to Jimmy. But there, sitting besides Jimmy he tells me that a woman wants to adopt him. He does not seem much at ease with this. Has tears in his eyes. I can not intrude into the doings of the US administration. Probably I am persona non much grata with these underdeveloped people. I will be happy when I will be again out of the States in civilicized country. I tell him again my address, telephone number and tell him to contact me if anything does not correspond to his needs. I will help him wherever he might be. I have no difficulty getting my right in this country. Whoever has enough money to afford a good attorney gets his rights in this country. But the poor ones who cannot afford this? I think of what Raúl told me. got into prison for having looked at his younger brother when he was ten, was afterwards transferred to a foster family who exploited him sexually. He only succeded to quit this net evading to Mexico and was there exploited by the Maffia. I have the feeling that Jimmy has now shed his mistrust of me. But he is not very easy considering the person which should adopt him. I understand him, considering the bad experiences he had till now. Enters the  police woman that helped me fight against the murderer of Jimmy. She greets me with reserve. I have to recount every inch of my experience with Jimmy. Probably she looked into my file. I am quite known in this country for my political views and people like the reverend Smith, who does what he preaches others should not do, practically do it not like me. But I live quite well here, nobody has ever succeded in bringing anything against me and Reverend Smith personnally hates me because I brought something up against him about the way he behaves with little girls in Mexico and he landed in prison and throws his poisoned sermons against me and the homes for harrassed rent boys of my organization. I profit of the occasion to ask her who wants to adopt Jimmy. At first she seem not trusting me. She is very much on her reserve. But I sense she seems quite sympathetic to me. I am quite able in making the court to women too. I know I have a strong impact on them western women, my gypsy allure, my long curly pitch black hair, my jasmin grey, nearly steel blue eyes. Women always fall to me. And this one is no exemption. Within minutes I get everything out of her. She tells me the address of the woman who wants to adopt Jimmy. It's the mother of his father who vanished. She tells me that her colleague does not trust me, he wants to have me interviewed. I scratch on. I hear, that he is quite on the right way, he does not believe that I was just in the dancing that night, that it is not true that Raúl does not know Jimmy of the jewel robbing band. In short he thinks my Koja has something to do with the jewel robbery. I have to dissuade him of this. I make up a term  for tomorrow afternoon. But as I do not trust the police any more and want to get Koja out of this affair, I contact my attorney. I am sure Koja was simply dragged into this affair because of his appetite for drugs. And I also contact my friend of the FBI who is of course much upset. I have to promise him to leave the country within two or three days if he helps me. Anyway there is nothing to fear, I know too much about the bosses of his organization. But of course if I ask to much... Well life is not very sure in California, everybody carries his guns with him, he says. The next afternoon we go there together with Koja and Koja is set free against caution. But to keep their visage they set a deadline while Koja should not leave Los Angeles and it is for the next two weeks. But of course they will let me evade in the term Johnny set me previously. The policeman, a career man, is not satisfied of this problem solving. He pulls a face. But then I offer him a copy of my "Ali" with my autogram and as I thought his wife is a fan of me. I have the money and the fame. Nothing can happen to me in this capitalist country. Only that now there is again a immense uproar in the newspapers. But this is only good for my business and the turnover of my books.

I receive a call from my beloved José. He will be playing in New York at the Met Tchaikovsky's  violin concert. It's again a very short term, next sunday. But on Friday Moll, Windorf and Price will be singing Tristan and Isolde at the Met. It's such a long time I haven't seen this opera. Alec loves operas too. He always listens to my CDs. I decide to go there with him too. Raúl will remain in LA together with Koja. On this friday night we sit together at a lodge in the Met. Listening to the nicest opera duetts together, the nicest guy in the whole world and the founder and perpetruator of the best of all social systems of the world, King Christooyals's son Alexis, is much stronger than me. I must do honor to Alexis. It's the first time Alec hears the wonderful songs. He is overwhelmed but still a bit at a loss. Sometimes he seems really bored. I can't resist the temptation, in the midst of the second picture. When Tristan and Isolde sing the perputal song of their love and are supposed to have their love night,  I want to have my real love night, too. I caress his back. He puts his head on my lap. My hands go over his hairs, his neck and soon my hands go over the rest of his back and down to his buttocks and between his legs. They are not obeying, my hands. My mind tells me it is not suitable in the opera and with this exquisite public, in the first hand lodge, to behave like this. But it's stronger than my mind. Alec's fine fingers have already opened my fly and with his lips he sucks my prick and my ball. The great duett goes on and the night is finished. Tristan sings that he cannot live without Isolde, Isolde cannot live without the word "and" Tristan. Brangäne announces the day and Tristan and Isolde sing their last duett before king Mark comes. Suddenly the music and song stopp. I startle, have lost the sense of everything which happened around me. I look up. Everybody stares as us and as nobody looks at Windorf and Price they have stopped and look at us. It's quite embarrasing, two men at a quite unmoral act and to show for everybody. I have to act. I stand up, bow  and speak, as loud as I can: Gentleman, This is king Christoboullis making amendment to his son. Love is the best remedy for past wrongs and love, music and forgivness is at the root of the peace in the world. " Somebody shouts: "But this is Ramon Gandarian." I bow again and everybody acclaims. " I will receive  everybody during the pause of one hour in the foyer and I will make a speech and hand out signatures." I shout. The orchestra plays "All we need is love" and there is a frantic acclaim. But leaving the opera in the night I change clothes, David puts on woman clothes and we make a detour. We come upon a gang of rowdies  who attacked two harmless gay people scanding. "Death to the homos." They left them literally laying in their blood thinking they were dead. We could take the two badly injured people to the hospital. We left not leaing our names.


On my return to the hotel the concierge handles me a fax which was sent off from Stawrinsky's fax machine.  It's a reply to my fax to Thierry Lachaux. It reads:

"Dear Ramon (If I may call you by your christian name).

I was a bit startled by your fax. I had never heard of you. Then I saw a book written by you amidth the few books David. I began to read and I was overwhelmed. I would very much appreciate knowing you. But I cannot travel this far. I lost my job when they found out that I had left my family to liv together with David. We have not much money left as only David is working and I cannot take holidays as I have to search a new job. I regret I have to turn down your offer. I did not show your letter to David as he is not much speaking about you for the moment and I do not wish to make him angry. Greetings Thierry

I read the fax twice. It's impossible. David left me and now he has serious monetary problems. And he could have had it so good if he had remained. He himself would never have told me anything. And I love him so much. I can't leave him like this. And for the moment I cannot quit here. I write a cheque on my bankers Daland & Olivier and send it with a letter by courier to Thierry, telling him to cash it at my bankers.

I have told the capitain to wait for me in Panama. But now I tell him to stop already in New Orleans, as he has not yet crossed the continent. I cannot cross the border of the USA with Alec and Raúl, and we will need the services of somebody of the border guards who know Johnny to cross it. The plan is well established. But as it is always with plans it does not work as it should, the boat of the coast guards would have dumped Ramon, Koja, Alec and Raúl at high sea. And a boat sent by the Cithère should have plucked them up. But the boat of the Cithère nearly missed them, it as a storm and Raúl nearly drowned and Ramon had to go to the extremes to save him, And he was so exhausted, he remaind out of conscious for several hours.


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